Like a Hurricane
by writingsince88
Summary: What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry? Well I'm not, it's not that simple, Black nothing ever is simple with you, you're like a hurricane, you blow in with a bang and leave destruction in your wake, I cant do this anymore, this is it for me...
1. Chapter 1

The books that littered the shelves of the headmaster's office were dusty and worn. _So the old man likes to read it seems…how very…fitting._

"I'm very disappointed in you Mr Black"

It's a good thing I don't hold your opinion in that high a regard then isn't it Sir. 

Silence was often the best option for Sirius Black at times like these, better than the alternative of airing his thoughts for public display anyway. His silence however seemed in this instance to wind the old headmaster up even more.

"You're actions tonight have been both thoughtless and dangerous, displaying an utter disregard for your fellow students safety and wellbeing"

Dumbledore looked expectantly at the young, black-haired youth in front of him. He was not used to such disobedience from his pupils, but Mr Black has always been the exception. He never listened to anyone, not completely anyway. Dumbledore had always believed that the boy's transgressions were merely the result of an unfavourable home environment. He had always mistakenly assumed that with time his misconduct would lessen as he got older, but it seemed that ageing had only increased his potential for recklessness. There was no denying that Sirius Black was a volatile loose canon, and Dumbledore was at a wits end as to what to do with the boy.

"Sirius, this has to stop, I can't allow you to continue to make a mockery of this institution. I understand that given your home situation-"

"With all due respect _Sir, _it's getting quite late as it is, and I have class early tomorrow, so perhaps you could just tell me what my punishment is to be and I can be on my way"

Sirius was never a patient boy, and this conversation was not one he wished to prolong. Dumbledore getting into his business was not something he ever looked forward too, and this time was no exception.

Dumbledore's cerulean eyes looked in earnest at his counterparts grey eyes, hoping perhaps to see some shred of remorse for his earlier actions. All he found was boredom and resentment. _The boy is always so angry_

"Very well Mr Black, a month of detention with Mr Filch, 65 house points and you are to write an apology to Mr Snape, one which will need to be cited by your head of house"

Sirius Black simply nodded in understanding before calmly standing and making his way to the door.

"That boy is no good Dumbledore, always knew something was off with him" the portrait of Phineas said disdainfully as the door to his office slammed shut.

As Sirius shuffled slowly in the direction of Gryffindor Tower, he thought about the conversation he had had with his headmaster,

_Well lecture really since I didn't really say much_

Sirius Black never really did say much; he always felt it to be more prudent to keep ones thoughts to themselves. He had learnt this lesson at a very young age when his Uncle Alphard had felt the need to argue with his mother about Muggle rights, before he could finish his thoughts he had been banished from the house and burnt off the family tree.

Sirius had always liked Uncle Alphard and while he himself held many of the same views regarding the rights of Muggles, he didn't have the luxury of expressing his opinions. Not when he was still very much at the liberty of his family's provision. So Sirius always played the part of the spoilt, rich, arrogant pure-blood he had been raised to be. Only his brothers, his _real_ brothers, not by blood but by something far more important, knew who he was.

They were all that really mattered to Sirius, it was only their opinion which he held to any esteem, it was only their advice he would ever listen to, and it was only they who he expressed his true self to.

And their approval and understanding was all Sirius ever needed.

Sometimes though, when Sirius would be alone, lying in his bed, trying to sleep, he would wonder where the part he was acting ended and where he really began. He would wonder whether the blurs and inconsistencies in his personality were visible to everyone around him. He would wonder when his parents would find out what he is, _a filthy blood traitor if anything, _and what the outcome would be.

In these thoughts Sirius would entertain the possibility of standing up to his parents like Alphard had, of making his beliefs be known. But for all his Gryffindor bravery, Sirius was afraid, afraid of what he would have if his true brothers ever left him, of what they would say if they knew how scared and weak and 'unbrave' Sirius really was, because they were so inherently good, in a way that Sirius was afraid he never had the potential to really be.


	2. Chapter 2

"Where were you last night Pads? We tried looking for you but it was impossible without the map"

"Sorry Prongs I took it with me last night"

"Was it some girl-"

James was interrupted by his counterpart's bark-like laugh

"No, it was not some girl, I landed myself another round of detentions"

Rather than joining in the laughter, James just looked mildly concerned,

"Sirius, again? I don't understand, I thought we'd agreed to cut back on this sort of thing this year, what with everything that's going on out there, it just seemed appropriate that we grow up a bit more"

Sirius did not miss his best friend's glance at the red haired girl down the table

"It's always about her isn't it? This _change_, this _maturity? _Well you may have agreed to follow the prissy skirt's advice about 'growing up' Prongs, but I certainly didn't agree to anything of the sort"

James just stabbed his eggs roughly with his fork

"I don't like it when you call her names Padfoot"

"Well, Prongs I don't like it when you try and tell me what to do, so I guess we're both not getting what we want this morning"

Breakfast between the two boys had become strained since they had commenced their sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Perhaps this was because they were both far from morning people, or maybe it was the unshakeable feeling that they were growing apart. Either way, by lunch often they were in better spirits, but the other inhabitants of Hogwarts could not deny that they were not as close as they used to be, that something was always missing in their interactions.

At this point Remus Lupin made his appearance at the Gryffindor breakfast table

"Goodmorning chaps, fine weather we're having this morning" he exclaimed jovially as he fell gracefully into the chair beside Sirius.

"Padfoot here landed himself another detention last night" James sneered from across the table

"Well, more a month of detentions"

Sirius felt this was an important point to correct, and mentally began preparing himself for the onslaught of questions Remus would undoubtedly ask. _Moony really was a curious bugger!_

"A month! What did you do this time then Sirius" the sandy haired boy asked mildly

"Why always assume that it was my fault, perhaps I found myself in an impossible situation, perhaps it was someone else's fault"

James felt the need to interject with a scoff here

"It was Sectusempra, Snape deserved it though cornering me in a bathroom like that, yapping about all sorts of nasty things. He should learn how to shut that greasy trap of his"

Moony's eyes widened considerably at this

"Sectusempra! That's borderline dark magic Padfoot, you could get expelled for that"

"Yes, well, I could get expelled for a lot of things couldn't I? Besides it was all that came into my head at that moment, I guess I just lost _control_"

"That's bullshit Pads, you're always excessively hostile with Snape, but you never lose control, not with Snape, not with anyone" James said quietly

"Well the slimy git deserved it didn't he, talking of things he can't understand, perhaps now he'll thing before he speaks in future"

Remus just stayed silent at this declaration, James however just gave Sirius an almost withering look.

"That was out of line, you could have killed him"

"Yeah? Well you know what Potter, a few months ago you would have been by my side on this, don't you dare judge me for something you yourself would have done, if you weren't trying to change yourself for perfect princess Evans"

Before James could even formulate an appropriate reply to this, his grey-eyed friend had already risen from the table and was walking calmly towards the doors of the Great Hall.

At that moment, the forth member of the infamous Marauders, Peter Pettigrew plonked himself into the seat beside James.

" 'Morning mates, where's Sirius off to then?"


End file.
